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When you need advice on moral or theological problems, ask your pastor.
The contours of our lives shape the questions we ask and the way we think. Getting counsel from an impersonal podcast or book differs greatly from asking a pastor who knows us. My oldest son’s favourite question is, “Do I have to?” Sometimes it’s an honest question about a process, sometimes he’s lazy, and sometimes he's defiant. (Okay that last one may be a parental overstatement, but that’s how it feels). His tone and motive behind the question inform how I parent him at that moment. Pastors commit to knowing people in their church. A good pastor won’t settle for receiving impersonal questions on a platform but will follow up with an invitation for lunch or coffee to talk further. He will seek to understand the person asking and the contours of their life that lie behind the question itself because that context matters.
Certain issues have clearly drawn lines, but several situations require wisdom to navigate nuance. For example, Proverbs 26:4-5 says, “Don’t answer a fool according to his foolishness or you’ll be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his foolishness or he’ll become wise in his own eyes.” How do you know when to answer a fool and when to hold your tongue? It depends on the specific fool. In 1 Corinthians 8, Paul gives a nuanced answer about eating meat offered to idols, pastorally helping them navigate a hard ethical question in their context. For questions requiring wisdom to navigate grey areas, we are better served by our pastors than celebrities.
Good pastors won’t just give answers but will help you ask better questions and grow as a thinker, equipping you with tools for moral reasoning and theological thinking. Pastoring is a discipling ministry and therefore a pastor will not settle for being the answer key but will train people to reason through tough moral and theological questions with Biblical wisdom.
Pastors are called to watch over the flock of God. This is the task the Holy Spirit appoints them for (Acts 20:28). The elders of your church shoulder a burden of watchfulness over you. They will give an account before God for shepherding you (Heb 13:17). For tough moral and theological questions, God gives you pastors. Ask them to pastor you. Love them well by submitting to their leadership. Go to them first for pastoral counsel.